Give The People What They Want!

As this is apparently the first rule of mass media broadcasting, who am I to argue? Not that I broadcast to anything like masses but anyway. Requests have been made to begin a series of “…silly yet fun debate[s] each week to keep [you] all entertained…” in the fashion of the great Coffee Vs. Tea debate of April. Even I have to appreciate that it gained the most comments of anything so far despite the post consisting of no more than 26 words. So here goes; this week (as promised/threatened) will be a fight to the finish between cats in the blue corner and dogs in the red.


I actually like both. We had a cat called Kippy up until I was five and we moved to Welland. Kippy was Dad’s Mother’s cat and she was passed to Dad when her owner passed on. My parents hate cats with a passion; there exist no pictures of Kippy anywhere and they used the move as an opportunity to get shot of old Kippy. Last year The Parental Units asked me to get hold of a Super Soaker-style water canon to blast away any cheeky moggies that venture into the garden as Mum is fed up with nasty surprises when she is gardening and all the hapless birds and mice that are slaughtered every year in the name of feline ammusement. I know that Rob, Lemur Girl and Liam will have strong feelings on this subject as all of whom are firmly rooted in Camp Cat having been brought up in Felis catus loving environments for as long as I (or they, probably) can remember. I also love dogs having co-existed very happily with Topsy and Meg for most of my life (they were fab in every sense). But enough of my Swiss-style fence-sitting, over to you; empirically, which is the superior species as a companion for us human types? I expect you to fight like cats and dogs! What’s the matter, cat got your tongue…?

9 thoughts on “Give The People What They Want!”

  1. Hmm, tricksy. Let me weigh up the various pros and cons:

    Loyalty – Cats have nothing that would last much longer than your ability to operate a can opener. Dogs have it in spades… so much so they actually remind me a bit of minions.

    Lifestyle – cats require no input above and beyond said tin opening. Dogs require walking, grooming, bathing. In fact the cat is like your cool flatmate who can’t cook whilst the dog is more of a toddler figure.

    Food – both eat the most unimaginable shit. But dogs take the lead with little bone shaped biscuits … so cute!

    Cute Quotient – difficult to say. Kittens and puppies are both cute. Cats mostly cuter than grown dogs.

    Toilet habits – Cat finds a little spot and buries his or her surprise. Dog dumps it where ever.

    Smell – cats rarely get stinkyfied. Dogs frequently exude an odour of … wet dog.

    Defence of property – dog well trained can keep your home and garden safe unless the intruder brought a steak. Cats really couldn’t give a shit either way

    Ability to look stupid – cats have in inbuilt sense of style and poise. Dogs such as the poodle, and others, seem to relish looking fucking stupid

    Size differential – Cats tend to come in pretty much two sizes. Standard and XL. Dogs range from the huge to the tiny, disappear up the vacuum, to the stupidly long.

    Kickability – You ever heard the phrase “Kick Cat”? No thought not.

    So on that basis the scores stand Cats – 7, Dogs – 3

    And I was scientific and everything!!!

  2. I vote dogs! But then I guess that was the obvious response for me! Nothing used to beat the feeling i got when i came home from work/school and smeggy was waiting with a her wagging tail! Dogs are far more adoring and responsive to your emotions!

  3. Oh I’m inclined to disagree with you there Rae. Cats can be very responsive to your emotions, they just choose when to show it! But they do know how you’re feeling and on more than one occassion I’ve had Ted come in to my room and schnuggle up next to me when I’ve been upset. he tends to purr louder too…

    Anyhoo, I’m definitely in the cat camp on this one. Nothing against dogs (except the small yappy type ones that aren’t really dogs but overgrown rats!) I just much prefer the rumble of a cat on your lap.

    An remember, the Egyptians once treated them as Gods! unfortunately they have never forgotten this…


  4. I concur on the small-yappy-dog-as-rat point! I’m sure this behaviour extends to every species though. A vertically challenged specimen always needs to make up for any height deficit by being annoyingly in order to get attention. Just look at Graham Norton.

  5. That is so true!!! My housemate Joe is small and extremely annoying, it must be the height thing!

    Oh and on the cat/dog thing, I have to point out how evil it is when cats curl up on your lap and then lovingly dig their razor-sharp claws into your legs…. not cool!

  6. I’ll take the razors over the slurpy nuzzley snot infested “doggy kisses” anyday!

    And Sis, the Egyptions worked their way through the animal kingdom when choosing their gods – remember Frizra? The Platypus God of Bad Hair Days?

  7. definately a dog person. I still miss Molly like crazy, even after a couple of years it’s still weird to go home and her not be there.

    I thought I could become a cat person too, after looking after Puss Puss, a camp follower of a whore cat who lived with us at Brean, and then Miaow Miaow, a neighbours cat that came in quite a bit when we first moved in.

    I think that I’m just an animal person generally though, and my initial distrust of cat’s has re-emerged since we live in a cat infested bird murdering community atm. All the coffin dodgers here have about three each so we’re surrounded. Plus I have the gerbil babies to watch out for (and the fish, but I think that cats wouldn’t eat the stick insects. I wouldn’t. They’re a bit scarey and the Pink Winged ones smell funny when alarmed).

    It’ll be cool when we move because we’ll be able to get a dog. Probably not straight away, but some time not too far away.

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