I thought I could become a cat person too, after looking after Puss Puss, a camp follower of a whore cat who lived with us at Brean, and then Miaow Miaow, a neighbours cat that came in quite a bit when we first moved in.

I think that I’m just an animal person generally though, and my initial distrust of cat’s has re-emerged since we live in a cat infested bird murdering community atm. All the coffin dodgers here have about three each so we’re surrounded. Plus I have the gerbil babies to watch out for (and the fish, but I think that cats wouldn’t eat the stick insects. I wouldn’t. They’re a bit scarey and the Pink Winged ones smell funny when alarmed).

It’ll be cool when we move because we’ll be able to get a dog. Probably not straight away, but some time not too far away.

And Sis, the Egyptions worked their way through the animal kingdom when choosing their gods – remember Frizra? The Platypus God of Bad Hair Days?

Oh and on the cat/dog thing, I have to point out how evil it is when cats curl up on your lap and then lovingly dig their razor-sharp claws into your legs…. not cool!

Do I have to?!

Anyhoo, I’m definitely in the cat camp on this one. Nothing against dogs (except the small yappy type ones that aren’t really dogs but overgrown rats!) I just much prefer the rumble of a cat on your lap.

An remember, the Egyptians once treated them as Gods! unfortunately they have never forgotten this…

AxXx

Loyalty – Cats have nothing that would last much longer than your ability to operate a can opener. Dogs have it in spades… so much so they actually remind me a bit of minions.

Lifestyle – cats require no input above and beyond said tin opening. Dogs require walking, grooming, bathing. In fact the cat is like your cool flatmate who can’t cook whilst the dog is more of a toddler figure.

Food – both eat the most unimaginable shit. But dogs take the lead with little bone shaped biscuits … so cute!

Cute Quotient – difficult to say. Kittens and puppies are both cute. Cats mostly cuter than grown dogs.

Toilet habits – Cat finds a little spot and buries his or her surprise. Dog dumps it where ever.

Smell – cats rarely get stinkyfied. Dogs frequently exude an odour of … wet dog.

Defence of property – dog well trained can keep your home and garden safe unless the intruder brought a steak. Cats really couldn’t give a shit either way

Ability to look stupid – cats have in inbuilt sense of style and poise. Dogs such as the poodle, and others, seem to relish looking fucking stupid

Size differential – Cats tend to come in pretty much two sizes. Standard and XL. Dogs range from the huge to the tiny, disappear up the vacuum, to the stupidly long.

Kickability – You ever heard the phrase “Kick Cat”? No thought not.

So on that basis the scores stand Cats – 7, Dogs – 3

And I was scientific and everything!!!